if i could

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkMZkl7ADUQ


I first heard this song on my sister's iPod and immediately thought to myself, "What a sad song! I'm skipping that one next time." It's just a little too close to home these days.

But... after my previous post on Jack and the Bible, there was a request for me to tackle these lyrics. So... here we go.

And for the record, this one's dedicated to Sarah Baar, Superstar -- From Shakazula

_____________________________

Setting: Cape Town, thirteen weeks ago
We got the glorious news that dear friends of ours were expecting their first baby. Four days later, we heard from other dear friends that they, too, were pregnant with their first child. Now, you might think to yourself, "Aww, that's nice." But in both of these instances, we had been praying and praying and praying for months and months and months for the Lord to bless these particular couples with children. For days after receiving the news, I stood in awe of the Lord's goodness, mercy and faithfulness in answering prayer.

Setting: Holland Hospital, eight weeks ago
Within the first two hours of being admitted to the hospital, the doctor estimated that Mom had two weeks left.

Two weeks left.

Eight weeks ago.

________________________________

I heard some words
From a friend on the phone
That didn't sound so good
The doctor gave him two weeks to live
I'd give him more if I could

You know that I would now
If only I could
You know that I would now
If only I could

________________________________

Where am I going with all this? Well, as my mind has been doing for some weeks now, I suppose in multiple directions.

As the second verse of the song observes,

They say that
New life makes losing life easier to understand
Words are kind
They helped ease the mind

To me, it seems that the song is intending to highlight the superficiality of such a statement. And as superficial as it is, in a very strange way, the knowledge of new life that has been asked for and granted from the Lord has actually countered the pangs of threatening feelings of injustice as I watch my mother's life dwindle to a close.

It's almost as if my heart is in a position to accept the fact that one life has been saved, redeemed, and filled with opportunities to serve, exalt and glorify its Creator and Lord, and now the baton is being passed on as new lives are being formed and shaped to usher in a fresh generation of servants and Christ-bearers.

Would I give her more if I could?

You know that I would now
If only I could

I would if I could. But I can't.

But He can. And He has.

Now, Jack Johnson is not a Christian, as far as I know. But believers and unbelievers alike have to admit that as mere humans, we have no power whatsoever over life or death. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Period.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.