I knew that the phase I was in five days ago would not last.
I wish it had.
Today I'm in the "somebody-hire-a-nanny-so-I-can-hibernate-in-a-mild-state-of-unconsciousness-until-this-nightmare-is-over" phase.
I saw my mom on the webcam again last night, and I simply cannot erase the image from my mind.
It hurts.
It hurts more than words can describe to see her like that. And yet I know that it is going to hurt even worse when I won't be able to see her on the webcam ever again. So will the beating I give myself if I choose not to call her while I still have the chance, simply because it hurts.
So, here we sit again, in our 'no-win' situation.
I think I'll just go back to bed.
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