Questions in my struggle with pride

You’ve probably heard the quote, “I struggle with a lot of things, but I don’t struggle with pride. I’m the most humble person I know.” Funny as it is, its truth resonates. We can even pride ourselves in our own humility.

But does the Bible really say we aren’t allowed to be proud of anything?

We all want our parents to be proud of us. We want our bosses to be proud of our hard work. We want our children to be proud of who we are. We want our spouses to be proud of our accomplishments. Is that so wrong?

I have struggled with this particularly as a parent. The truth is, I am proud of my kids. And I tell them. But is that causing pride to become an idol in their hearts? Am I building up a need for praise in them? How can one be encouraging, yet not full of sinful pride? Is there a pride that is not sinful?

One of our children in particular has had on ongoing struggle with being proud. Being proud of what she knows, specifically. So I have spoken to her about doing her best before God and trying to please Him for His glory, not for her own. But do I practice what I preach?

It struck a chord when this same child got 100% on her first-ever math test. Of course I was proud, and I made a big fuss of it. Then a friend heard the news and she said, “Wow, aren’t you proud of yourself?” At which point the child’s response was, “No, I’m not proud of myself. I’m not proud that I got 100% on my math test.” Now my struggle is this: Is it good that she is trying to fight pride from such a young age? Or am I depriving her of being able to appreciate striving for excellence?

Even when friends come over, my husband and I often find ourselves asking the kids to recite Scripture memory verses for our guests. We can claim that it is meant to edify our guests and encourage our children in their memorization of Scripture, but aren’t we really saying, “Look at what great parents we are”?

All of the verses I can find in the Bible relating to pride and humility indicate that the Lord detests, opposes and punishes the proud. So is our calling as Christ-followers to eliminate all pride altogether? It seems like it to me. Am I wrong?